y?? y is this happening. Just when i tot i closed up the wounds and hardened the heart. Saw my heart beating during the cardio that day. Who does it beat for? it works so hard 24/7, beating just for a single person.


Im so confused. i know what im feeling but dunno y. I am certainly interested in her, but i dun have that feeling when i ask her out. When i used to ask Xiao sha out my heart would be bursting when she said yes. Smiled like i nvr smiled before. so after i harden the heart i met her. I dun feel that same happiness and joy. So should i be going after her? and reading my manga, the female character managed to confessed to the guy. i felt my heart come back alive for that short time.



Life was going fine with me, then my gd fren got "married" i think that got me abit lonely cos i used to think of him as a buddy who understands me. Somehow all the frens who got attached through my help or without my help jus left. They are no longer there.. Basically the true frens i have are just a handful, when they just left when even i was in pain, i hardened my heart. after that i truely felt nothing. I could feel normal but my dad and mum will come up and ask if im ok and y did i look so sad. Is that sadness natural? does my eyes hold all the sadness?



People are shocked when they know im a christian, something is wrong.
People are shocked when they know i have nvr been attached, something is wrong.
people are shocked when they know i club, something is wrong.
But now nobody is shocked when i smoke, even though i am on the way to quitting.


Haiz~ some thing is definately wrong...